My brother was hospitalized again, and my father was angry at me about something else for no reason. This, of course, only adds to the stress. So, again, of course, my first thought is, "Hey, reading usually calms you down; why don't you do that?" So, I went to my own private corner in my brain where I housed all of my own personal escapes when stress becomes too much and it was like walking into my home and finding it ransacked and destroyed. Nothing was the same. I couldn't read unless I was almost going to sleep or I would read a paragraph or two and then my mind would trail off. I couldn't focus. This was a hard fact to face for me. I am a big reader and to realize that my brain is so overloaded with stress that I can't even read properly sucks the big one.
So, I've cut some of the books I was reading and, sure, it helped to some degree, but that doesn't make cutting them out if my reading routine any less difficult. Some people don't really understand to the extent in which reading affects my life and that's okay, but without reading and books and someplace to escape to that I can carry anywhere and everywhere, I don't think my life would be as happy as it is now. Well, at least my mindset would be a lot less happy.
I know this is a little more personal than I usually ever get, but this blog is like a stress reliver for me. Although, I have concluded that after I finish this batch from the library, I'm not going to be getting anything out from the library for a while. I have so many books at home that I can read and it's time I started reading them. (:
until next time,
The Book Nerd
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